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I have spent a great deal of time over the last couple of months examining myself at levels that I never have before. HaShem has rocked me to the core as I have questioned my motivations for performing the mitzvoth.
I have come to realize the importance of G-d’s grace operating in my life. Without a realization of His grace, then the Torah kills. It is only when we follow Him out of love that our actions truly heal the world. If there is a disregard for the grace of the Father, then we are merely being good people, and there is then nothing that sets us apart from all of the other “good people” in the world. G-d has called His people to be Holy, but I believe that there is absolutely no way to be holy apart from a genuine recognition and experience of His grace in our lives.
I have found that even though I have been a Christian for virtually all of my life, I have never actually encountered G-d on the level that He requires of me. I have honestly depended on my spiritual pedigree, so to speak, to get me in good with G-d. That doesn’t work. In fact, that is the very thing that Shaul argues against in Galatians. My background does me no good whatsoever when it comes to serving the Father. He desires that we daily encounter His grace.
What does that mean though? I will share some of what I’ve learned in the last couple of months concerning daily encountering His grace, and I hope that it will be beneficial to any and all who happen to drop by here.
One of the first things that I had to realize in my life is the fact that G-d doesn’t need me. He is self-sufficient, and so any gifts, talents or things of that nature that I may possess are useless to G-d. He chose me. There is nothing I can do to repay G-d back for His grace. If I could repay Him back, then it ceases to be grace, and it is only something that is earned.
In my own life, I have spent a great deal of time trying to earn G-d’s favor. Very often, if I’m honest with myself, my motivation for following the Messiah and obeying the Torah has been very impure. I have tried to earn G-d’s favor. I have seen these things as obligations to be performed because I’m a Christian. The trouble with that line of thinking is that, once again, I’m trying to repay G-d for His gift of grace. The response is not one of love.
As I have come to realize my need for grace in life, I have noticed that little by little, the things that I do for the Father are a result of my growing love for Him. Wearing tzith-tzith is now a joy, and not something that I do just because it is “right.” The same goes for laying the tefillin, hanging a mezzuzah, or anything else. I do things because I love my Abba. There should be no other reason than that.
I have also noticed that as I petition the Father for grace on a daily basis, it becomes increasingly easier to abstain from sin. You see, acknowledging your need for G-d’s grace means that you’re acknowledging that you can’t go on by yourself. Grace is not something that puffs up, but rather humbles you like nothing else can.
So what say you? What is grace to you? How have you experienced grace? Have you experienced grace?
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Well, it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted. For those of you that check my blog frequently (Jamie G.) I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t think that anyone was frequenting our site until I found out that at least one person checks for updates on the blog. I will try to be a little more faithful in posting, and hopefully a few more people will stop by to see what’s going on in our lives.
Much has happened since the last time that I posted. We have changed congregations. We now attend a church (no it’s not a bad word!) that meets on the Shabbath, and also is heading in a messianic direction. Another plus is that it is charismatic, and so in some ways, we feel a little more at home there. The congregation (Life Christian Fellowship) is kind of affiliated with a messianic congregation in the Denver area (Kehilat T’nuvah). I’m very grateful that HaShem led us to this body. He is doing an awesome work in my life, and He is doing it within the framework of the community that is being established in our church.
I have been shocked to find that I really have no understanding of what it means to be a follower of the Master. I have a fairly good working knowledge of the external side of things, but I have realized that I have become one of the Pharisees that Yeshua was so against. I have no understanding of what grace is. I don’t know what it means to be chosen by the Father as one of His sons.
As a result of these revelations in my life, I have put a hold on some things. As a for instance, I quit wearing a hat or kippah all the time. I would like to take up the tradition in the future (HaShem willing), but for now, I need to focus on allowing the Spirit to change the condition of my heart. I long to follow the Torah with all that is in me, but if I’m not allowing the Spirit to do the work on my heart, then according to Jeremiah 31, I’m not a part of the New Covenant.
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not questioning whether or not I’ve been saved. I know that I have! But I don’t think that I’ve been living a life that reflects that. I have had things together on the outside, but inside, I’m a tomb full of rotting bones. Baruch HaShem that He can and does change those things!
Enough for now. Jamie, I just got your private message in the TR forum. I will work on getting those links for you as time allows. If anyone else has any questions or requests, feel free to let me know!
Blessings in the Name of our Messiah, Yeshua!
