Filed under: Personal reflections
I have been repeatedly challenged in my life lately concerning bitterness. It is so easy to get wrapped up in things like tying tzitzit (pun intended) or eating kosher, that I forget about the weightier matters of the Torah.
As an aside, my experience in the Messianic movement has been very eye opening in that I see how we have failed greatly in this area. We are very proficient at pointing out the speck in our brother’s/sister’s eyes, yet have entire trees sticking out of our own. What would happen if we truly began to ask the Father to reveal the sin in our lives, all the while focusing on living lives obedient to the Torah?
My wife and I are currently attending a church that has Charismatic and Messianic emphasis. While the church is not quite as messianic (Jewish) as I prefer, there is a STRONG emphasis on maturing and being who the Father has called us to be as His children. That leads me to this topic of bitterness.
One of the biggest complaints that I hear both in the Messianic movement, as well as those who are outside of the body, is that we just don’t know how to get along. To a large extent, those charges are valid. We constantly backbite and argue over minute things, whether it be halacha, or simply what style of music should be included in our worship services. There are far to many casualties of war in the body of Messiah. The wounds caused by our brothers and sisters are left to fester, and eventually, the wounds become bitterness.
I have many things in my life that I am bitter about, not the least of which is toward others in the church who have wronged me. As HaShem began to deal with me in this part of my life, I have realized that bitterness has become a driving force in who I am. It has led to me being very critical of others who don’t agree with me. I have been very sarcastic, and outright judgmental.
Over the last month or so, it seems that I haven’t been able to escape this. It has become increasingly obvious that God wants this dealt with in my life. I have crossed paths with more than one individual that I’m either bitter toward, or judgmental concerning the way that they are following the Master. It is interesting though that on each occasion, I come away from the situation just shaking my head. In three separate instances I was told something to the affect of “when we don’t change, and harbor things in our lives against others, we become the very thing that we hate about that person.” Another man used the illustration of a man and wife beginning to look like one another after years of intimacy in marriage. He said, “It is the same way with our sin. When we become intimate with it, we look like it.”
So what does this have to do with the Parasha this week? Well, I have long taken the approach that the Torah is the basis for my life, and as such, it must speak to every situation that I encounter. I have been asking God to show me examples of bitterness in the Torah. The most that I could think of off the top of my head is “love your neighbor as yourself,” and that just wasn’t cutting it for me. This morning, I read the parasha, and WOW! I was just floored by what I found. Let me share with you.
In Genesis 26:35, the Torah tells us about Esau’s wives. Listen to what it says: “…and they were a source of spiritual rebellion to Isaac and Rebecca.” (Artscroll Tanach, Stone Edition) Another translation puts it this way, “…and they were a bitterness of spirit to Isaac and Rebecca.” (NASB)
As you can see, here is a great example. But what does it have to do with us? I will share what I learned, and you can take it from there.
Immediately after this verse, we find the story of Jacob stealing the blessing from his brother. Rebecca takes her favored son aside and tells him how to take advantage of both her husband and her other son (whom she is bitter toward). I don’t want to take things out of context here, but I don’t see a very far stretch between Rebecca’s bitterness toward Esau, and her willingness to pull one over on him. Bitterness and spiritual rebellion lead to terrible family strife.
The thing is, it doesn’t stop there. After Jacob leaves Isaac, Esau returns to find that he really got the short end of the stick. The Torah tells us, “…he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry…” (Gen. 27:34, NASB) Immediately Esau was bitter about what happened. His bitterness led to something with far reaching consequences. “So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” ” (Gen. 27:41 NASB)
Yeshua commented on this very thing in His Sermon on the Mount. He states, “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall no commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court: and whoever shall say to his brother, ‘Raca,’ shall be guilty before the Sanhedrin; and whoever shall say, “You fool,” shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” (Matt. 5:21-22)
Do you see where bitterness leads? It is so easy to tear down each other. Although we may never act out and kill someone, our bitterness of heart will kill us. It will cause terrible strife in the family of God, and it also leads to misery beyond what anyone should bear.
