For some time now, I have had somewhat of an internal struggle concerning the definitions and practical outworkings of the words contained in the title of this post, holiness and righteousness. This morning, I was able to flesh out some of my feelings in my journal. After reading over what I had written, I decided that this would be something good to post, as I know that many in Messianic movement (at least in my exposure to it) struggle with the very same issues.
The other thing that I’m really wrestling through right now is the difference between righteousness and holiness. I know that I have been declared righteous because of the finished work of Messiah, but I don’t always live that way. In fact, in my pursuit of holiness, I often fall in to the trap of earning or trying to maintain my righteousness.
Coupled with this struggle is the question of why I like to do things “Jewish.” At this point, I don’t know that I can give an honest answer to that question. I have seen that often my attitude toward others who are Torah pursuant, yet not traditional in their approach is very judgmental and condescending. Yet, what is the difference? I am no more righteous than they, as that is a finished work of Messiah. Not only that, but why is my pursuit of holiness any better than theirs? It’s not! I am not yet at a place where I can honestly say before G-d that all that I do in the ways that I try to keep the Torah are out of a heart of love for him. In fact, in my heart, I’m still trying to earn righteousness. As long as my heart remains in that state, then I have an excuse to continue to judge those that don’t live up to my standards of righteousness.
How is it that I, a man who was raised in the church, who has some formal Bible education, and is hungry for the Word of G-d, am so lost? The answer to this question is that, “There is no one righteous, not even one; There is none who understands, there is none who seeks for G-d.” (Rom. 3:10-11).
What are your thoughts on righteousness and holiness? Are the two related? If so, how? If not, why not?
In a profound sense, the question: what is reality? what is the world to the Biblical man? is best answered by another question: what is the world to God? To him the subject matter of the question–the world–is too wondrous to be fully comprehended in relation to man. The world in its ultimate significance must be understood in relation to God, and the answer to the question is: all things are His servants. (God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism, p. 94. Abraham Joshua Heschel)
I received an email yesterday, and the sender told me that I really need to update my blog. (Thanks Mark!) I agree, especially since it has been MONTHS since I’ve last written. I’m sure that many have stopped checking to see if I have actually done anything…
We’re fast approaching the feast of Passover. In our house, there is great anticipation for this time. The kids all get new clothes, and we try to have as much fun as possible to communicate to the children that following the G-d of the universe is an exciting thing. That being said, I also try to spend a good deal of time in personal reflection, asking the Father to reveal His heart to me and to show me where I’m falling short.
Thank G-d that he answers the prayers of His people! This year, the He has been showing me how, in my desire to do things “the right way,” I have missed Him altogether. I have become so worried about not doing something according to the way that it is written in the Torah, or not following tradition, that I have failed to encounter G-d.
Let me tell you what I mean. A couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter told me that she wanted me to wake her up so that we can pray together in the morning. (This is an answer to prayer in and of itself, but I don’t have time to write that now.) When I’m praying the prayers [from the siddur] I like to do things as close to traditional halacha as possible. Obviously, my children only know so much, and in my rigidness, I have pushed them away.
As we were preparing to pray together, the Spirit spoke to my heart very clearly: “CHILL OUT! Just learn to enjoy my presence, and teach your daughter to do the same.” So, I did. As we have prayed together, our relationship has really grown together. My daughter displays a much greater willingness to obey when I ask her to do something, and she is much more laid back around me. (I’m sharing this to demonstrate how much G-d is changing in my life. Not to say, “Look at me. Look at what I did…”)
Last night, I was reading in 2 Chronicles 30 about how Hezekiah re-instituted the Temple service, and Passover. They celebrated the Passover in the second month, because no one was ready in the first month due to the wickedness of the people before Hezekiah came to power. One short passage really stuck out to me, “for Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, “May the good LORD pardon everyone who prepares his heart to seek God, the LORD God of his fathers, though not according to the purification rules of the sanctuary. So the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.” (2 Chronicles 30:18b-20) G-d heard the longing of the hearts of His people. They longed to do it right, but they were either ignorant, or were at a place in history where it was impossible to do it correctly according to the Torah. Still, G-d heard the hearts of His people. He gave grace in abundance.
May we (I) remember that G-d sees our hearts during this season. I strongly believe that when we know the commandments of Hashem, we are to try to follow them to the best of our ability. (The fact that G-d is gracious is not a license to sin.) However, following G-d is a journey, not a destination. He is a gentle shepherd, and when we follow Him, there is great blessing and reward. Chag Sameach!
