Traditionally, the Jew is taught to feel delight in being able to fulfill the law, albeit imperfectly, rather than to feel anxiety because of his being unable to fulfill it perfectly. “Serve Him with joy; come before His presences with singing” (Psalms 100:2")
Israel feels a certain ease and delight in the fulfillment of the law which to a hired servant is burdensome and perplexing. For “the son who serves his father serves him with joy, saying, Even if I do not entirely succeed [in carrying out His commandments], yet, as a loving father, He will not be angry with me. In contrast, a hired servant is always afraid lest he may commit some fault, and therefore serves God in a condition of anxiety and confusion.” Indeed, when Israel feels uneasy because of their having to stand in judgment before God, the angels say unto them, “Fear ye not the judgment…Know ye not Him? He is your next of kin, He is your brother, and what is more, He is your father.” (God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism. P. 406 A. J. Heschel)
As I read this quote yesterday, I was struck by the fact that I approach God in the way of a slave. I have yet to realize the depth and breadth of His love for me. So great is that love that He adopted me as His son. He is longing for me more than I can ever long for Him.
Yeshua said much the same thing:
This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing: but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. (John 15:12-15)
In Yeshua, I am no longer counted as a servant. I am a son of the Most High.
As such, God’s love for me supersedes my shortcomings. Where I fall short, His love fills the gap. Thank God for the wonderful gift of His Son, our Messiah! He is the ultimate expression of God’s love . In living a sinless life, He made up for everywhere that we fall short.
God is more concerned that I love Him and try to obey Him than He is with whether or not I obey Him “correctly.” He wants my heart. He knows that as a man, I am totally incapable of doing things completely right, and because of that, He gave of Himself to compensate for where I fall short. He truly is a loving Father.
When we pray, we expect (at least most of the time) to be answered in one way or another. If you’ve been a part of Christianity for any length of time, undoubtedly, you’ve heard it taught that G-d always answers prayer, even if it is not what we like. He may answer with a yes, a no, or a wait.
I’ve almost certainly over-simplified this idea for the sake of brevity, but you get my point. That being said, I would like to share a new perspective on this that has really helped me in the last couple of days.
I have been praying for some time that G-d open my eyes to see Him. I want to see His truth for what it is. I want to encounter Him in a way that will forever change me. One prayer from the siddur that I have prayed continually is the third paragraph of the Yedid Nefesh:
All-worthy one–may Your mercy be aroused and please take pity on your beloved son, because it is so very long that I have yearned intensely to see the splendor of your strength. Only these has my heart desired, so please take pity and do not conceal Yourself.
I have felt ripped off and cheated, because, up until a couple of days ago, this prayer seemed to go unanswered. I have been angered by the fact that I’ve been asking Avinu to change my mind (Eph. 4:17-19). I have realized that many of my thoughts about Hashem are incorrect, and so I’ve asked that He change them.
Because my prayers weren’t being answered in the way that I thought they should be, I have been terribly angry and resentful. I wasn’t getting what I wanted, and so I’ve been throwing a tantrum!
All of this began to change two days ago. I had a conversation with a close friend, and he pointed out the fact that all the while I’ve been asking that my mind be changed, and that my heart be transformed, this is exactly what G-d is doing!
My anger, frustration, confusion, etc. have to be realized before they can be changed. I’ve never considered the fact that my exhibition of these emotions is the hand of G-d in my life. He is answering my prayer by revealing my sin. It is these very things that are standing in the way of encountering Him. He must be allowed to remove these things, replacing them with His love and mercy.
He really does answer prayer, but most certainly not in the way that we think it should happen.
There has been something rolling around in my head for quite some time, and up until just recently, I have been unable to identify it. I’ve been longing for something deeper in my walk with the Creator, and have looked and looked for what holds the key. I’ve done a lot of reading, praying and studying trying to find that which has been alluding me. I think that I’ve finally found something that is going to lead me in the right direction. (I’m not sure yet, but let me see if I can flesh it out.)
I believe that G-d calls us to a life of radical balance. I thought that term meant something utterly and completely different than what I’ve come to discover. You see, I thought that radical balance meant, for instance, that I work, work, work to maintain my relationship with G-d, and that He is somehow detached from all of it, just waiting for me to reach a certain level in my spirituality. Once that level was reached, I believed, He would reveal Himself to me, because I had proven myself worthy.
How has this played out in my life? The most noticeable way has been in the way that I live and conduct myself. I have felt rather strongly that G-d has been leading me toward a life of Torah observance much akin to the orthodox lifestyle. (I still believe that to some degree, but that’s not the point of this post.) Due to this fact, I have used my convictions and understandings as a way to judge others. I have pushed many people away, and I’m sure missed out on some really good friendships, all in the name of righteousness.
While living this way, I’ve known all along that there must be more to a relationship with G-d. I’ve searched and searched. I’ve read Jewish sources, Messianic Jewish sources, traditional Christian sources, the Bible, and more. I’ve been praying and seeking for the heart of the Father concerning me, and it seems, on the one hand to have gotten me nowhere fast, but on the other hand to have brought me to a place that I’m ready to listen.
G-d has been calling out to me, relentlessly pursuing after me, and I have been running from Him, all the while deceived into thinking that I’m running to Him. My running has looked very good on the outside. I wear tzitzit and a kippah, and often pray from a siddur. I say Yeshua and Hashem and use Hebrew terminology when speaking about the things of our Father, believing that I’m drawing close.
What is the sudden change? I’m not entirely sure, except I’ve come to realize how much I have pushed our beloved Messiah to the side while trying to get things right in my life. I have buried myself in studies just so that I can understand context of Scripture. (Please don’t get me wrong, all of these things are VITALLY important, but apart from a dynamic relationship with the One who gave His all for us, they merely puff us up, and can push us away from the Father.)
I began to really reach out to the person of Yeshua, longing to experience His presence in my life. This has been ongoing now for months, and I’m starting to feel like a breakthrough is in sight.
As I reached for Yeshua, I really began to see how much He’s been reaching out to me all along. Where i have tried to earn my way in to the presence of the Almighty, He waited for me to see that He’s already provided that way. While I was wrestling, He was beckoning me with open arms of love and acceptance. I realized that the lenses through which I’ve been viewing life are very foggy indeed.
In Judaism, there seems to be very little time to stop and really deal with one’s sin. The approach to life is one that states, “If I sin, I will just try harder next time. I will do another mitzvah to cancel out the sin.” While on the one hand this is good in that it doesn’t allow for unhealthy guilt, on the other hand it is terribly dangerous. It puts the power of personal transformation in the hands of a mere human.
I cannot do this! No longer can I rely on myself to save myself. I am quickly coming to the place where I am ready to be undone at the feet of my Master. He is the Savior. He is the Deliverer. There is nothing in and of myself that is good, and therefore, I must accept His grace.
This doesn’t mean that I am going to be lazy. To the contrary, to accept grace requires that I pursue the Father all the more.
“The grace of God is unearned and unearnable, but if we ever expect to grow in grace, we must pay the price of a consciously chosen course of action which involves both individual and group life.” (Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster)
During this season of Passover, my slavery to sin is becoming ever more evident.
And there is no slavery that can compare to the slavery of ingrained habits of sin. (ibid.)
Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Yeshua Messiah our Lord! (Romans 7:24-25a NASB)
G-d in His grace has provided the way into His presence. It is only through Yeshua. I am determined to know Him, and Him alone. I am determined to face myself, and see who I am apart from Him, and who I am in Him. He is changing me, and will change me. It is only through encountering the Person of our Messiah that transformation of the heart can take place.
Does this mean that obeying the sacred words of the Torah falls to the side? G-d forbid! On the contrary, as I choose to humble myself at the feet of the Master, then His Torah will be written in my heart. His ways will truly become my ways. No longer will doing the mitzvot be a chore, but instead they will truly be a delight.
He has called me to worship in Spirit and in Truth, and I am answering His call!
Lately I have been thinking about the topic of forgiveness. I’ve been reading a lot of literature from Voice of the Martyrs, and been challenged by the forgiveness that is demonstrated by believers who have been beaten because of their faith.
This story demonstrates the same level of forgiveness that will probably be far more relevant to the readers of this blog. This is the heart of Torah.
Shalom!
Since it has been months since I have last written, I figured I’d better do something to show all of my loyal readers that I’m still alive and kicking.
Here is a link to an article that I just read, and I’m curious to know others reactions to it. Divorce in the body of Messiah is a tragedy, but we must be fair in our treatment of the subject. How do you interpret Yeshua’s teaching on the topic? What about Paul? Moses?
Let me know what you think!
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1680709,00.html
Filed under: Apostolic Scriptures
Last night, we had a leadership meeting with the leaders of our congregation. It was unlike anything that I have ever been a part of before.
For anyone that has read my blog in the past, you know that my background is Pentecostal, so I am no stranger to “the things of the Spirit.” Since coming in to the Messianic movement, I have really re-examined many of the beliefs that I held to be dear in my Pentecostal experience. Because of this, I tend to be open, but cautious toward charismatic/pentecostal things, due to the many abuses that I have seen.
That being said, what happened last night was an incredible experience. We (about 20 leaders from our congregation) began the evening with a time of praise and worship. That in and of itself was great, but it was only the beginning.
“Tonight, we are going to take the opportunity to speak prophetically in to each other’s lives” our pastor explained. “We are just going to pray for one another, and share whatever you feel the L-rd is saying to you for the other person.”
From the time that this explanation was given, there was such a sense of safety. We all knew that regardless of what was said, no one would be looked down on, and no one would be regarded as having “a better connection go the Father.”
One by one, each person was selected, and all the members of the group just listened for the prompting of the Spirit to speak in to that individual’s life. It was absolutely powerful! There was nothing pretentious about what was happening, and we all left very encouraged and edified.
As my family and I were driving home, my wife made the simple comment, “Wow, that was just biblical.”
I was really struck by the truth in her statement. I don’t know that I’ve ever been in a situation where I felt so safe in allowing G-d to speak to me and through me. It was very encouraging. I actually feel that I saw what Paul described in 1 Corinthians 14:27-32.
“If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets.”
Have you ever been in such a setting? What do you think about such things?
I have spent a great deal of time the last two weeks reflecting on the importance of loving our brothers and sisters in the Body of Messiah. Please allow me to share very candidly from my personal experience, as I believe that I am not alone in my observations.
I have been studying the Torah for around five years or so, and it must be said that they have been some of the most difficult, yet most rewarding years of my life. There has arisen many frictions among friends and family members, yet many new relationships have been forged as well.
As I have progressed in my knowledge of the Torah, as well as in my own personal observance, I have often had to stop and make sure that I have done things for the right reasons.
For example, a couple of years ago, my wife caught me looking at pornography online. Because of this, I decided to begin wearing tzitzit. At the time, this only made sense, especially since the command was given as a reminder so that you do not “follow after your own heart and your own eyes, after which you played the harlot.” (Numbers 15:39 NASB)
On the surface, there seems to be nothing wrong with my motivation. However, in looking back, I really didn’t deal with the issue. My heart is still sinful and wanting to play the harlot all the time. By attaching tzitzit to the corners of my garments without first allowing the work of the Spirit to take hold in my heart, I merely masked the issue.
This is but one example. I could give many others, but for the sake of time and space, I will not. My point is this: I have noticed that in our movement, we are often very quick to resolve issues on the outside long before we give the Father a chance to expose our hearts for what they are and then allow Him to change us.
Where all of this really came to bear in my own life was just a couple of months ago as it really began to become evident to me that I don’t love people in the Body. In fact, for the most part, I don’t even like people in the Body. I got to the place that all of my externals proved that I was better and more righteous than just about anyone that I came into contact with, and because of that, people just weren’t worth my time or effort.
Thank God for His exceeding grace and mercy! He slowly began to reveal to me that if He treated me the way that I deserved, or even the way that I treated others in my heart, I would truly be a far cry more miserable than I already was. It is only when I began to realize that I can’t love God on my own that I really began to love God. Hand in hand with that revelation is the fact that I can’t love people apart from relying on His grace to do so.
According to 1 John 3:14, if we don’t love each other, we are dead. Yeshua said repeatedly that we must love and forgive each other. In fact, the banner of our discipleship hangs on our love for one another. We are known as His followers primarily by our love for one another.
So what does all of this mean? Well, I have to tell you that for me personally, all of knowledge of the Word of God and halacha and everything else has to take a second seat to actually living the Word. I love to study, but as the sages say, “Great is the study that leads to action.” Oh that we would have more action and less talk in our movement. That Yeshua would be seen as our Master because we love one another.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5 NASB)
What does this mean to us? How do we abide in Him?
Ya know, I have thought a lot about this the last couple of days. It is funny that we often think that we can follow Torah on our own. (I don’t know, maybe this is just me, so if it is, please humor me) I mean, we study and study, and do and do, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if we are not taking the time to go to the Source of all that we are, then we will find death.
Yeshua says, “Abide.” It is really that simple. If we want to bear fruit, if we want to make a difference for eternity, if we want to sanctify this world, then we must abide.
This means taking the time to daily connect with God. Prayer is a huge key. Whether praying with a siddur, or spontaneously, or whatever, take the time to talk to the Father. Allow Him to reveal how ugly you really are, and then allow Him to remind you that in Him you are a new creation.
I guess that I’m on a bit of a soapbox, and for that I apologize. However, this is something that has been eating at me for a couple of days now, and I felt that it needed to be shared. Please don’t think that I have it all figured out, because if there is one thing that I’m NOT good at, it’s abiding.
This last Shabbat, our pastor shared on the topic mentioned above. I have to tell you, I felt like I was in a boxing match throughout the whole of the sermon.
This is a topic that our movement will do well to reflect on at length. I’m not talking about some kind of superficial unity, but one that is forged by going through difficulties together, learning how to love each other.
It hit me that so often, I am very quick to judge my brothers and sisters because they are not where I think I am spiritually. I fail to remember that the same Messiah that died for me, died for them as well, and my sin is just as bad (if not worse than) theirs.
We are often wont to condemn our brothers in the Messiah that are not Torah observant, because they are not obeying the Torah. I think that we have MUCH to learn from those that focus on getting their hearts right before the Father, more than they focus on the externals.
It is time that we begin to earnestly seek the Father to write His Torah on our hearts, so that all that we do reflects Him, and not our attempts to be like Him in our own efforts. I really appreciate what Bill Beyer has to say on this topic.
If our lives do not reflect the Fruit of the Spirit, then our study of Torah will yield only pride. We must truly seek to know the Father and have the Torah written on our hearts if we are ever to be successful in reaching the world with the Gospel of the Kingdom.
