Filed under: Personal reflections, Prayer, Theology | Tags: Knowing God, Love, Objective truth
Objective truth, divorced from experience, is useless.
A few weeks ago, I made the above statement, somewhat off the cuff, yet it has stuck with me. As I have pondered it, I have become increasingly aware of the fact that unless I’m experiencing truth, that truth has no use to me. Let me demonstrate.
I’ve lived my whole live being told that God loves me. He loves me more than I can imagine. In spite of my sin and my ugliness, He still loves me. In fact, He loves me so much that He gave of Himself, sending His son to die in my stead.
All of that is wonderful, and it is absolutely true. In fact, one is hard-pressed to find truer statements. However, these truths (objective truths) are absolutely useless to the one that has not experienced the love of God. They are mere ideas.
Recently, I have found that I know many objective truths that are altogether useless to me. In fact, the above illustration is one from my own life. I long to experience God’s unselfish, undying love for me. I constantly wrestle, because I need to know that God loves me, in spite of me. I need to know that God loves me, even when, no, especially when I am disobedient.
At this point in my life, experience is HUGE. I know a lot. I am a student. I love to study. I relish digging for answers. I enjoy finding solutions to questions that haunt me, and puzzle others. However, much of that is on hold. I want to know the Father’s love.
This quote for A.J. Heschel is appropriate:
The Bible has several words for the act of seeking God (darash, bakkesh, shahar). In some passages these words are used in the sense of inquiring after His will and precepts (Psalms 119:45, 94, 155). Yet, in other passages these words mean more than the act of asking a question, the aim of which is to elicit information. It means addressing oneself directly to God with the aim of getting close to Him; it involves a desire for experience rather than a search for information. Seeking Him includes the fact of keeping His commandments, but it goes beyond it. “Seek ye the Lord and His strength, seek His face continually” (Psalms 105:4). Indeed, to pray does not only mean to seek help; it also means to seek Him. (God in Search of Man, p. 28)
God is calling. He says very clearly that those who seek Him will find Him when they seek Him with all their hearts. He has provided the way for us to come close to Him in the person of His Son, Yeshua. By His mercy, and with His help, I will draw near.
Traditionally, the Jew is taught to feel delight in being able to fulfill the law, albeit imperfectly, rather than to feel anxiety because of his being unable to fulfill it perfectly. “Serve Him with joy; come before His presences with singing” (Psalms 100:2")
Israel feels a certain ease and delight in the fulfillment of the law which to a hired servant is burdensome and perplexing. For “the son who serves his father serves him with joy, saying, Even if I do not entirely succeed [in carrying out His commandments], yet, as a loving father, He will not be angry with me. In contrast, a hired servant is always afraid lest he may commit some fault, and therefore serves God in a condition of anxiety and confusion.” Indeed, when Israel feels uneasy because of their having to stand in judgment before God, the angels say unto them, “Fear ye not the judgment…Know ye not Him? He is your next of kin, He is your brother, and what is more, He is your father.” (God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism. P. 406 A. J. Heschel)
As I read this quote yesterday, I was struck by the fact that I approach God in the way of a slave. I have yet to realize the depth and breadth of His love for me. So great is that love that He adopted me as His son. He is longing for me more than I can ever long for Him.
Yeshua said much the same thing:
This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing: but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. (John 15:12-15)
In Yeshua, I am no longer counted as a servant. I am a son of the Most High.
As such, God’s love for me supersedes my shortcomings. Where I fall short, His love fills the gap. Thank God for the wonderful gift of His Son, our Messiah! He is the ultimate expression of God’s love . In living a sinless life, He made up for everywhere that we fall short.
God is more concerned that I love Him and try to obey Him than He is with whether or not I obey Him “correctly.” He wants my heart. He knows that as a man, I am totally incapable of doing things completely right, and because of that, He gave of Himself to compensate for where I fall short. He truly is a loving Father.
For some time now, I have had somewhat of an internal struggle concerning the definitions and practical outworkings of the words contained in the title of this post, holiness and righteousness. This morning, I was able to flesh out some of my feelings in my journal. After reading over what I had written, I decided that this would be something good to post, as I know that many in Messianic movement (at least in my exposure to it) struggle with the very same issues.
The other thing that I’m really wrestling through right now is the difference between righteousness and holiness. I know that I have been declared righteous because of the finished work of Messiah, but I don’t always live that way. In fact, in my pursuit of holiness, I often fall in to the trap of earning or trying to maintain my righteousness.
Coupled with this struggle is the question of why I like to do things “Jewish.” At this point, I don’t know that I can give an honest answer to that question. I have seen that often my attitude toward others who are Torah pursuant, yet not traditional in their approach is very judgmental and condescending. Yet, what is the difference? I am no more righteous than they, as that is a finished work of Messiah. Not only that, but why is my pursuit of holiness any better than theirs? It’s not! I am not yet at a place where I can honestly say before G-d that all that I do in the ways that I try to keep the Torah are out of a heart of love for him. In fact, in my heart, I’m still trying to earn righteousness. As long as my heart remains in that state, then I have an excuse to continue to judge those that don’t live up to my standards of righteousness.
How is it that I, a man who was raised in the church, who has some formal Bible education, and is hungry for the Word of G-d, am so lost? The answer to this question is that, “There is no one righteous, not even one; There is none who understands, there is none who seeks for G-d.” (Rom. 3:10-11).
What are your thoughts on righteousness and holiness? Are the two related? If so, how? If not, why not?
In a profound sense, the question: what is reality? what is the world to the Biblical man? is best answered by another question: what is the world to God? To him the subject matter of the question–the world–is too wondrous to be fully comprehended in relation to man. The world in its ultimate significance must be understood in relation to God, and the answer to the question is: all things are His servants. (God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism, p. 94. Abraham Joshua Heschel)
I received an email yesterday, and the sender told me that I really need to update my blog. (Thanks Mark!) I agree, especially since it has been MONTHS since I’ve last written. I’m sure that many have stopped checking to see if I have actually done anything…
We’re fast approaching the feast of Passover. In our house, there is great anticipation for this time. The kids all get new clothes, and we try to have as much fun as possible to communicate to the children that following the G-d of the universe is an exciting thing. That being said, I also try to spend a good deal of time in personal reflection, asking the Father to reveal His heart to me and to show me where I’m falling short.
Thank G-d that he answers the prayers of His people! This year, the He has been showing me how, in my desire to do things “the right way,” I have missed Him altogether. I have become so worried about not doing something according to the way that it is written in the Torah, or not following tradition, that I have failed to encounter G-d.
Let me tell you what I mean. A couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter told me that she wanted me to wake her up so that we can pray together in the morning. (This is an answer to prayer in and of itself, but I don’t have time to write that now.) When I’m praying the prayers [from the siddur] I like to do things as close to traditional halacha as possible. Obviously, my children only know so much, and in my rigidness, I have pushed them away.
As we were preparing to pray together, the Spirit spoke to my heart very clearly: “CHILL OUT! Just learn to enjoy my presence, and teach your daughter to do the same.” So, I did. As we have prayed together, our relationship has really grown together. My daughter displays a much greater willingness to obey when I ask her to do something, and she is much more laid back around me. (I’m sharing this to demonstrate how much G-d is changing in my life. Not to say, “Look at me. Look at what I did…”)
Last night, I was reading in 2 Chronicles 30 about how Hezekiah re-instituted the Temple service, and Passover. They celebrated the Passover in the second month, because no one was ready in the first month due to the wickedness of the people before Hezekiah came to power. One short passage really stuck out to me, “for Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, “May the good LORD pardon everyone who prepares his heart to seek God, the LORD God of his fathers, though not according to the purification rules of the sanctuary. So the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.” (2 Chronicles 30:18b-20) G-d heard the longing of the hearts of His people. They longed to do it right, but they were either ignorant, or were at a place in history where it was impossible to do it correctly according to the Torah. Still, G-d heard the hearts of His people. He gave grace in abundance.
May we (I) remember that G-d sees our hearts during this season. I strongly believe that when we know the commandments of Hashem, we are to try to follow them to the best of our ability. (The fact that G-d is gracious is not a license to sin.) However, following G-d is a journey, not a destination. He is a gentle shepherd, and when we follow Him, there is great blessing and reward. Chag Sameach!
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5 NASB)
What does this mean to us? How do we abide in Him?
Ya know, I have thought a lot about this the last couple of days. It is funny that we often think that we can follow Torah on our own. (I don’t know, maybe this is just me, so if it is, please humor me) I mean, we study and study, and do and do, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if we are not taking the time to go to the Source of all that we are, then we will find death.
Yeshua says, “Abide.” It is really that simple. If we want to bear fruit, if we want to make a difference for eternity, if we want to sanctify this world, then we must abide.
This means taking the time to daily connect with God. Prayer is a huge key. Whether praying with a siddur, or spontaneously, or whatever, take the time to talk to the Father. Allow Him to reveal how ugly you really are, and then allow Him to remind you that in Him you are a new creation.
I guess that I’m on a bit of a soapbox, and for that I apologize. However, this is something that has been eating at me for a couple of days now, and I felt that it needed to be shared. Please don’t think that I have it all figured out, because if there is one thing that I’m NOT good at, it’s abiding.
