One man's thoughts about Life, Torah, and Messiah

I know that it has been WAY too long since I posted anything on this blog. I won’t make any excuses for that.

That being said, this is for the faithful few, as well as the occassional blog troller that happens across my musings. You really, really should check out this video. You will not be disappointed. I’m very excited for the work that FFOZ is doing, and think that it will contribute greatly to further maturity in the Messianic movement.

Shalom!

I just wanted to leave a brief post to update everyone on what is going on in the Sperry world. We are currently celebrating Hanukkah (tonight will be the fourth candle) and having a great time eating latkes, spinning dreidels, and focusing on re-dedicating our lives to follow the light of the world, Yeshua the Messiah.

The kids are all doing very well, and getting bigger by the day.

Avigale is a reading machine. She ALWAYS has her nose in a book (wonder where she gets that from?)

Joelle is content to be a princess all the time.

Judah likes to wrestle with Dad all the time, regardless of what is going on around him.

David just lays around giggling or crying all day. (what do you expect? He’s only 6 months old.)

Brooke is always working hard at home, teaching the kids, cooking wonderful meals and keeping our house a home.

And then there is me. Not a whole lot is new here. I will be starting some classes on December 17 to get my  Cisco Certified Network Associates certificate. (CCNA) I’m really looking forward to this, as I enjoy having my brain stretched. It should be a pretty busy couple of months though.

That is just a summary of what is going on in the Sperry world these days. May we all learn what it is to be the light of the world during this season!

Shalom!

Last night, we had a wonderful time with friends and family as we celebrated the naming of our son, David Elijah. May Hashem bless him, and may he grow to Torah, the Messiah Yeshua, the chuppah, and to good deeds, Amein!

here is a pic of our new son…he’s only about 2 hours old here.

Well, he’s here! After long months, my wife and I have our second son! Baruch Hashem! He was born last evening at 9:54 p.m. The naming and bris will take place, God willing, next Shabbat, June 9, 2007. I will post some pics when I get a chance.

Chag Sameach everyone! Enjoy this!

Matzah Man

I have many times prayed for G-d to give me dreams and visions. It has been a cry of my heart since my high school years, but I don’t know that I can honestly say that the Father has answered that prayer. Until tonight.

I have to be honest. I have been quite sick for the past week, and so my first thoughts about this dream are, “It could just be the medication,” or “It is the sickness that is messing with your head.” However, this can’t be the case, because as I think about this dream, and it’s relevance in my life, there is no other plausible explanation other than this is straight from G-d.

I will do my best to relate this dream as I remember it, and then share some of what I believe it means to me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been praying for the Spirit to reveal in my secret sins, things that I may not even know are there, yet they prevent me from intimacy with the Father. I believe that some of what this dream brings to light are secret things in my life.

This dream was unlike anything that I’ve ever experienced before. It was as if I were reading a novel, and the words of the page were immediately coming to pass. It begins with a massive steel platform that has been erected on the side of a mountain, with one side touching the mountain, but all other sides supported by supports all the way around. The only way to get to the platform is from a ladder that goes from further down the mountain, and then opens on to the platform through the bottom. This platform is easily large enough for 3 or 4 camp sites, and that is what it is for. But this platform is also a form of bait. It has been erected in bear country, and the characters of the dream (I’m not entirely sure who anyone was, but they were there I think just to illustrate the points that had to be made.) were bear hunters. They were not hunters just for the sake of hunting bears, but they studied the bears’ behaviors and habits.

The group of hunters would split into two groups, usually of 3 or 4 people in the first group, and all the rest in the other group. Then the smaller group would go to climb the bear stand. When the dream first began, that’s what was going on. As the first scientist/hunter climbed the stand, he opened the door to get to the top, and there was a HUGE bear waiting for him. This bear immediately tore off his head, and began to eat him and share the winnings with its cub. (sorry for being so gruesome, but I think this is a vital part to everything.) The other group is totally taken by surprise, as the bear was not seen in time to warn their colleague of the impending danger, and all of the scientists below him waiting to enter the platform were in no position to attempt to save their friend.

In order to try to prevent future attacks, the hunters/scientists hunted down the guilty bear, killed it, and spread its remains around the stand as if to try to communicate to the other bears that the stand was hungry, angry, and not afraid to take revenge on anything that dared come into it’s territory. Before long, the scent of the rotting entrails vanished, and all that was left was piles of bear guts strategically placed around the stand.

At this point in my dream, the story stopped, and the words that I saw written were concerning my life. Please bear with me (pun intended) as this part of the dream becomes somewhat fuzzy (again pun intended). I’m normally very bad at remember details of dreams.

The bears in my life represent violence. As a man, I honestly enjoy things that are a bit more violent than normal. I love movies like Braveheart, The Gladiator, etc., not only because they are good movies with great storylines, but also because I like the violence. I love to watch things like UFC, boxing and other things where the fighting is somewhat senseless. (I’m not saying any of this is wrong for anyone else, but just sharing what is going on in my life.)

Some time ago, a good friend of mine shared a scripture from Isaiah (I think. I can’t find it at the moment, but I will. However, even if I can’t find the scripture that I’m alluding to, this is something that I will be changing in my life.) It had to do with setting no violent thing before your eyes. I shrugged it off, mainly because I didn’t want to hear it at the time. There were to many violent things in my life that I liked, and wanted to keep. I believe that the time has come for me to get rid of these things in my life.

The group of scientists can be compared to me and my family. As the leader of my family, I am responsible for everything that happens in my home. Whether it be what is watched on the TV, listened to on the radio, how my kids talk to their mother and I, or whatever, I am responsible. I have often tried to hunt things down that are causing problems, and then after I’ve discovered something, I’ll use that to try to ward off the “other bears” that could be lurking out there to cause more pain and damage.

I don’t know where I’ll finally come down on this issue. I know that I will get rid of my copies of movies that are to violent, and that will probably include some that aren’t all that violent. (you have to understand, our movie collection is VERY limited as it is, and so there probably won’t be much left on our shelves besides The Lion King and Madagascar, but so be it.)

I have been pondering the root of sin in my life, and it boils down to this: Pride. Pride is something that is detestable to HaShem, and obviously becomes a huge hindrance in our walk with the Father.

As an assignment for a class that I’m in at church, I’m supposed to practice the discipline of meditation. Now this is something that I have never done (consciously anyway) before. I was praying about what particular area in my life I should meditate on, and what more specifically, what Scriptures would be helpful.

Naturally, my mind wandered to this evil stumbling block of pride. In doing some very basic searching for Scriptures dealing with humility, I happened across this one, and it is one that I will need to chew on for a while (meditate?). In Matthew 18:3-4, Yeshua says “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

I have heard countless sermons preached on this passage, as well as the concept of child-like faith, and in thinking about all that I’ve been taught about becoming a child in my approach to the Father, I’m not sure what is right, and what isn’t. Here are some of my questions:

• What does Yeshua mean when He said, “…Unless you are converted and become like children…?
• How do I get to that point?
• How do I humble myself?

When I think of my children, and their approach to G-d, I’m struck by the fact that they are always looking to me for the answer. They constantly ask questions. They are very teachable.

While I believe that these are some of the qualities that the Father desires from me in my relationship with Him, I have a sneaking suspicion that there is more. Why do I have to become as a child to approach the Father? What is so important to Him about children?

I have spent a great deal of time over the last couple of months examining myself at levels that I never have before. HaShem has rocked me to the core as I have questioned my motivations for performing the mitzvoth.

I have come to realize the importance of G-d’s grace operating in my life. Without a realization of His grace, then the Torah kills. It is only when we follow Him out of love that our actions truly heal the world. If there is a disregard for the grace of the Father, then we are merely being good people, and there is then nothing that sets us apart from all of the other “good people” in the world. G-d has called His people to be Holy, but I believe that there is absolutely no way to be holy apart from a genuine recognition and experience of His grace in our lives.

I have found that even though I have been a Christian for virtually all of my life, I have never actually encountered G-d on the level that He requires of me. I have honestly depended on my spiritual pedigree, so to speak, to get me in good with G-d. That doesn’t work. In fact, that is the very thing that Shaul argues against in Galatians. My background does me no good whatsoever when it comes to serving the Father. He desires that we daily encounter His grace.

What does that mean though? I will share some of what I’ve learned in the last couple of months concerning daily encountering His grace, and I hope that it will be beneficial to any and all who happen to drop by here.

One of the first things that I had to realize in my life is the fact that G-d doesn’t need me. He is self-sufficient, and so any gifts, talents or things of that nature that I may possess are useless to G-d. He chose me. There is nothing I can do to repay G-d back for His grace. If I could repay Him back, then it ceases to be grace, and it is only something that is earned.

In my own life, I have spent a great deal of time trying to earn G-d’s favor. Very often, if I’m honest with myself, my motivation for following the Messiah and obeying the Torah has been very impure. I have tried to earn G-d’s favor. I have seen these things as obligations to be performed because I’m a Christian. The trouble with that line of thinking is that, once again, I’m trying to repay G-d for His gift of grace. The response is not one of love.

As I have come to realize my need for grace in life, I have noticed that little by little, the things that I do for the Father are a result of my growing love for Him. Wearing tzith-tzith is now a joy, and not something that I do just because it is “right.” The same goes for laying the tefillin, hanging a mezzuzah, or anything else. I do things because I love my Abba. There should be no other reason than that.

I have also noticed that as I petition the Father for grace on a daily basis, it becomes increasingly easier to abstain from sin. You see, acknowledging your need for G-d’s grace means that you’re acknowledging that you can’t go on by yourself. Grace is not something that puffs up, but rather humbles you like nothing else can.

So what say you? What is grace to you? How have you experienced grace? Have you experienced grace?

Well, it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted. For those of you that check my blog frequently (Jamie G.) I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t think that anyone was frequenting our site until I found out that at least one person checks for updates on the blog. I will try to be a little more faithful in posting, and hopefully a few more people will stop by to see what’s going on in our lives.

Much has happened since the last time that I posted. We have changed congregations. We now attend a church (no it’s not a bad word!) that meets on the Shabbath, and also is heading in a messianic direction. Another plus is that it is charismatic, and so in some ways, we feel a little more at home there. The congregation (Life Christian Fellowship) is kind of affiliated with a messianic congregation in the Denver area (Kehilat T’nuvah). I’m very grateful that HaShem led us to this body. He is doing an awesome work in my life, and He is doing it within the framework of the community that is being established in our church.

I have been shocked to find that I really have no understanding of what it means to be a follower of the Master. I have a fairly good working knowledge of the external side of things, but I have realized that I have become one of the Pharisees that Yeshua was so against. I have no understanding of what grace is. I don’t know what it means to be chosen by the Father as one of His sons.

As a result of these revelations in my life, I have put a hold on some things. As a for instance, I quit wearing a hat or kippah all the time. I would like to take up the tradition in the future (HaShem willing), but for now, I need to focus on allowing the Spirit to change the condition of my heart. I long to follow the Torah with all that is in me, but if I’m not allowing the Spirit to do the work on my heart, then according to Jeremiah 31, I’m not a part of the New Covenant.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not questioning whether or not I’ve been saved. I know that I have! But I don’t think that I’ve been living a life that reflects that. I have had things together on the outside, but inside, I’m a tomb full of rotting bones. Baruch HaShem that He can and does change those things!

Enough for now. Jamie, I just got your private message in the TR forum. I will work on getting those links for you as time allows. If anyone else has any questions or requests, feel free to let me know!

Blessings in the Name of our Messiah, Yeshua!